ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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