Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
