You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize