Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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