What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
