Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
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Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
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If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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