I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
