i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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