i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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