it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
