Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
