I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
