NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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