im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
