im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
