your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
