true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
