turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize