i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize