Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
