Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize