Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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