Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
