From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
