I got chris browned last night
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
