it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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