i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize