Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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