no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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