He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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