When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How naked do you want me to be?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
