I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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