Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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