Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This is my gift to your gina
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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