I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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