just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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