Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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