Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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