Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
