I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
