Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize