They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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