I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize