Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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