You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My balls are so social today.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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