At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
