you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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