I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
barbara walters just said penis...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
