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that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
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