Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
