There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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