I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
