hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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