Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you will always have a special place in my vag
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
