i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
