She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
