You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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